Did you know that they way you behave in a relationship has a lot to do with how you were brought up by your parents and how much time they spent with you.
Pschologists state there are 4 attachment styles that determine how we react in relationships: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant , Anxious-Avoidant.
There are questionnaires you can do online to find out which style you are for now a short summary is as follows:
Secure
When a person has a secure attachment style, they feel confident in their relationship and their partner. They feel connected, trusting, and comfortable with having independence and letting their partner have independence even as they openly express love. They reach out for support when they need it and offer support when their partner is distressed.
Avoidant
People who have the dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to be very emotionally independent—perhaps overly so. They find it uncomfortable to get too emotionally close to others or to trust them fully. In fact, those around them may describe them as actively trying to avoid closeness. They seem to pride themselves on not needing emotional intimacy. When they’re rejected or hurt, they tend to pull away.
Anxious
People with this attachment style tend to crave emotional intimacy, even when their partner is not yet ready or the situation doesn’t call for it. They need a lot of approval, responsiveness, and reassurance from their partners. They can get anxious when they don’t get it. Often described as clingy and needy.
It’s not fun to have this attachment style. Often, they feel dependent on others for approval and doubt their self-worth. That’s only reinforced when the target of their clinginess never seems to be as interested.
Anxious Avoidant
A person with this attachment style is confused. They essentially have both the dismissive and the anxious styles combined—both wanting emotional closeness and also pushing it away. They’re fearful of fully trusting others and yet they need approval or validation. They often deny their feelings or are reluctant to express them. At the same time, they’re easily jealous and tend to perceive greater threat from possible romantic rivals.
Once you understand your attachment styles you can then become aware of your patterns and change them so that you can learn to become secure in your attachments.